It is my home, my neighborhood, and my history. It is what I am and where I came from. Embarrassing? Yes Boring? Never

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Odd Week

Signs that things are maybe not as they should be

1. Zowie finally received her confirmation letter stating she has custody of the crack babies, and will be receiving benefits for them. The odd part-- they labeled one of them as the case head and gave a date he was to appear for job training to obtain full time employment. The really odd part - The twins are four years old.

2. Fat Cat was visiting his best friend at the animal shelter when a call came in that there was a pony loose in a very urban area. The friend could not find the pony after several hours of looking. The odd part - he found a very large goat, that they determined had been mistaken for a pony. The really odd part - there was a goat on the loose in a very urban area.

3. My mother in law, seeing that we seem to be in tight financial situation lately decides we need more money. The odd part- she does not tell her son to go get a job, but finds one for me every evening and both days of the weekend. The really odd part - I am glad, we are getting really tight again, and at least I am doing something about it.

4. Our roof is leaking around the skylight. Which is not unusual, we have had issues before with the skylights, as they are large and apparently prone to being serviced incorrectly. We get several estimates, the lowest of which is $1800!!! The odd part- Fat Cat drags up a phone number of a handy man (Yes Fat Cat is very much a handy man but he does not get on ladders, and his ear damage is so bad that balance is not his strong suit) who comes out and fixes it for $260! The really odd part - We find this out a day after I accept the second job, because I was going to have to come up with $1800 for the roof repair.

5. Tank and Sasquatch belong to a car club that are having a very large international car show this weekend. Last year they had over 250 cars and are going to probably have 300 by the time today is over! The odd part- Tank has never had a completed vehicle in the shows he has helped organize for the last 4 years. The really odd part - All those guys and Angel is the one that gets into with someone and just about has a thrown down in the middle of whole thing!!!!

5. The Cake fest of 2008 - is complete except for delivery, the final cakes were strawberry cake in a cone with white icing and sprinkles, a chocolate hostess cupcake, turtle (4 layers yellow cake with caramel, pecans, and chocolate, topped with whip cream), chocolate layer cake with fluffy white icing, and the grand finale was crystallized angel food topped with a homemade pineapple ginger sauce -whip cream and a sprinkle of toasted coconut and garnished with an umbrella. The odd part - I actually completed the month. The really odd part - I am a little sad it is over, I liked the creative part of it!

Friday, September 26, 2008

She is 16

My granddaughter is 16 today! (Zowie's daughter, Pretty Baby) Last night we baked cupcakes for her to take to school today. She wanted to be with uncool grandma and bake. Because I have one billion different kind of sprinkles, no doubt, but it was great. She talked and laughed until about 11 - I was almost late for work, but it was entirely worth it. I just kept looking at her and thinking about how beautiful she is and special she is. I want to hold her in my heart just as she was last night, laughing and funny and just incredibly her. I am so lucky.

Of course I was so busy, I had to use a rice cake as the cake of the day! You'll have that!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Poor Old Fat Cat

My heavens the last couple days have been rough - on Fat Cat!
A) Fat Cat broke is baby toe and bruised his entire foot so bad it is ½ purple ½ odd green How did that happen ?
1. We have two large pieces of exercise equipment that are in my formal living room and my loft. Fat cat cannot remember where they are.
2. Deaf blind guys should where stedl toed shoes when wondering around the house.
3. Exercise equipment will leap in front of you when it senses you may be drinking and are barefoot

B) Fat Cat nearly had a fight with his best friend, his brother, his stepfather, and several members of the community. How could this happen?
1. In an effort to assist his brother with his political ambition, Fat Cat agreed to get up with a hangover and broken toe to put up signs.
2. He recruited his best friend, who is not familiar with the area, and, as he has now learned, cannot read a map worth crap.
3. Because they were running late his stepfather picked up Fat Cat’s signs and gave him a huge stack and kept a very small stack for himself.
4. People who have not signed up to have a sign in the yard, do not want one and will tell you about it, loudly.

C) Fat Cat’s children are giving him fits, causing him to eat an entire bottle of Rolaids. What could they be doing now?
1. Soldier has blown out his knee, and may have to have a major surgery, which may end his military career, and rendering he and his family homeless, or headed to our home.
2, Butterfly has moved in with her new love, the Palestinian
3. Butterfly has moved in with her new love, the Palestinian
4. And again, Butterfly has moved in with her new love, the Palestinian.

D) I am apparently trying to kill Fat Cat.
1. I use a shaving gel that seems to leave a very slippery oil residue on my bathtub.
2. When falling, the large decorative shower curtain and rod are not good to grab on to as they are not permanently affixed to the wall, and will blast you about the head and tangle in your arms
3. I do not put the caps on my shampoo and conditioner so that when the decorative shower curtain collapses they flip into the tub creating a more slippery surface
4. I have a shower hose that when you flip upside down your foot will hit and it will start whipping around drenching the entire bathroom in hot steaming water.
5. After severe bruising of the ribs, and spewing of choice words, Fat Cat cannot get any help (for some reason, ungrateful Angel flees the house before a nude Fat Cat falls into the hallway.)

The whole horrible time started last night and has Fat Cat hold up in his chair refusing to leave the house this evening.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Cake Cake 2008

I think I have not been keeping up on the cakes, so these are the latest:

9/19 Bananas Foster (banana cake with Carmel glaze and a dollop of whip cream)
9/20 Two layers of rich red velvet, with white cream cheese icing
9/21 Yellow cake flavored with mint, and chocolate mint icing
9/22 Golden (yellow pound cake with tinted butter cream frosting with edible gold glitter)
9/23 Banana cake with banana butter cream icing
9/24 USA (three layer of red cake with white whip cream icing topped with royal blue butter cream, and red gel letter of USA with fine silver edible glitter)

Yeah, I been a busy girl!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

My Big Brother

There are moments when at the precise second they happen you know your life will never be the same. Thirteen years ago yesterday, I heard my sister’s voice tell me he was gone. And at that moment, I heard the crash of my family, the shift of my world under my feet. My big brother was gone. I still mourn for him, for my family, for the time when my heart was innocent, before everything shattered around me, the shards scaring me forever. His loss devastated my mother, a part of her gave up at that point. Within 6 months my father was gone, another 6 months and she was gone. Then my siblings ran away from me and all my pain. They were all gone, and my children had no grandparents, no aunts and uncles to love them and tease them. They were left with me and my tenous grip on reality. My big brother, the moment he slipped away so did the warmth and safety that was my crazy family. We were then surrounded by those who just wanted to love us, not because they had to but because they did. I was overwhelmed by those that cared for me and my babies, who did so not because of blood. The warmth and safety that is around me now, are my friends and my brother’s friends. All the women that just love us and loved him. Forever.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I Would Have to Change Parties But ....

Dear Mr. McCain:
Here are the reasons why you should have chosen me instead of Palin:

10. She ‘can see Russia from her house’, I have actually been there.
9. My kids played football, baseball, and were in band. American sports! She is a hockey mom, obviously too close to Canada.
8. I have not been to Iraq either, but I did send my son and he came back and told me about it.
7. I do not have a pregnant daughter! (But I have 7 illegitimate grandchildren who are really cute, and could gain me a lot - and I mean A LOT -of sympathy votes)
6. I have never tried to get an ex-brother in law fired, I actually got his lazy butt canned! Follow through, Sarah, Make it happen!
5. Although I do not have a Downs syndrome child, I do have several stupid ones, that may actually be considered handicapped.
4. My ‘First Dude’ is much more entertaining, and could be the Billy Carter of the McCain administration, relatively harmless yet hugely entertaining and often quotable.
3. It is easier to run a low populated state on a big budget than a big family on a low populated budget.
2. I would have never fallen for the line ‘I got a big bridge for you, Lady’

And the best reason I should have been the VP pick ---

1. I do not hunt nor own guns. So unlike a VP Dick Chaney hunting excursion, there is no chance my ambition would drive me so crazy I would ‘accidentally’ shoot your old ass and take over!

(Cake #18 - mini bundt cake - banana with walnuts and chocolate chips.)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I Must be Really Smart

Cake of the day - Black Forrest!

Today was my first full day on the new job. I woke up late, and freaked out completely because I thought I was going to be late on my first day! It has been a long time since I was hesitate and unsure at my desk. Not really comfortable but it will come, but I am always much harder on myself than anyone else ever is. I did some calls for the election tonight, getting some signs put into yards (note, if you get a call from a happy little campaigner, it could be me, so be nice!) Fat Cat had the house cleaned up by the time I got home at 8:00, which was great. So not much to do but dinner, laundry, and cake!

Quote today from Fat Cat - "you have to be really smart to be dumb and survive in this world."

Was followed up by a near disgusting mix up between a stick of Crisco and cream cheese. I think that was the smart part paying off!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Busy Busy Busy

Last night was Tank's birthday dinner, amazing as usually (Yeah, that's right - I had dinner for 15 including the crack babies, who left all sugared up and Zowie shaking her head and threatening to leave them with me! Also was George's birthday, and gave him the helmet and chest plate Angel and I had for him, which could not have been better for the 11 year old, he slept with them last night, the mark of a truly great birthday gift!), and today I had my last day on my old job! My replacement feels comfortable and they are to hire another person (yeah, it will take two to replace me!). My old boss gave me flowers (her husband works for a floral company) and several of my co-workers teared up pretty good. My new co-workers were all happy for me! My husband had most of the dishes from last night done, so I had time to relax and read some blogs, pay some bills, and do some laundry. Ohh, what fun!

And for those of you following the Month of Cakes, we had Fruit Cake (pineapple cake, with maraschino cherries, pineapple, mandarin oranges, nuts and raisins made into cupcakes), Cheesecakes (made in cupcake cups topped with cherry pie filling -- mmmmm) and today is gingerbread made in star shaped foil cup cake tins!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Ground is a Giant Sponge

The rain continues and I cannot get enough sleep!

But I did get the cakes done!

" Some cakes are white, some cakes are brown, but this one is upside down!"

Yes, pineapple upside down cake, made in my little bundt pans, and just really really cute!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Not A Great Day, but Tomorrow is Another Day

Seems Tank and his little family are having issues, and he is really down. My roof, which is only two years old is leaking. And I have to be at my 1/2 day here 1/2 there job for another week before I am moved to full time at my new job. I made linguine and clams sauce for dinner, and it did not turn out as good as usual. Soldier is getting home sick again. I spent a 1 hour on the phone with another of my ex sister-in - laws. My two nieces are making her a little crazy (crazier) and she just wanted to talk. Every time I talk to her I do feel the need to buy all my daughters flowers for being 'not that nuts'. The high light of the day may have been cleaning my future new office, which is just cute, by the way. A trip to the Halloween store and reliving the stupid hole in the wall show with Fat Cat. What has my life become??? And the cake seems appropriate.

"Lemon here, Lemon there, Lemon Every Where" luscious moist white cake, three thin layers filled with lemon pudding, iced with whip cream flavored lightly with lemon flavoring, tinted bright yellow and dusted with lemon zest. Mmmmm tasty!

Thursday, September 11, 2008


I cannot be bothered right now, as my show is on for two hours! YEAH!

"Chocolate, almond, and butter cream, this cake is just a dream!"

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Hole in the Wall

As hard as it is for me to admit, I get so down some times I just want to cry. But I may have stumbled on a huge cure. I sat down after all my work was done and flipped on the TV, and there it was! OMG! It is possibly the most hilarious show I have every seen. The contestants, clad in silvery wet suits and little colorful Devo-esk helmets, perched on the edge of a neon lighted pool while a giant wall barrels down on them. The object is to leap in flamboyant positions that are cut outs in the wall and not go into the pool. OMG! The holes are odd shaped persons, usually in some odd stances that I will tell you I have not seen since the sixth grade when I sat next to Russell, who drew obscene stick figures. OMG! Once they get beyond the wall there is a jubilant antics and instant replays! Oh, the commentary is priceless, with comments like “He found the hole!”, “He put it in the hole”. And all the seriousness of Olympic broadcasters, they tell us about their agility and the battle against the wall. Oh, and just when you think it could not get any better, you would be wrong. The winning team appoints one member (who prances about in delight) to face the wall alone ---- with black out goggles on! OMG! The others have to verbally guide him into position, which is of course just about impossible so he is hit blind by the giant wall and pushed into the water. Oh, it is a huge hoot!!! I have no clue how on earth someone actually got a network to buy this show, but it either had to be a lost best or some serious pharmaceuticals. Seriously, I have not laughed this hard at a TV show since -- well I do not know when but I am sure it had something to do with HBO and a comedy special. You cannot help but laugh!

Oh, the cake for today “Boston crème, is it a cake or a pie? Who wants some, holler I!”

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

What a Chocolate and Peanut Butter Day!

Yeah, that was the cake flavor, milk chocolate cake with peanut butter buttercream icing and curls of Hersey Bar. (I actually got them all delivered today) And that was my day, kinda sweet and simple. I had a little success at my new job, and seems I may just be able to make it eventually. (this position is so nice, even the restroom is special, you don't even have to flush the toilet yourself! Big step up!) I have most of the inside halloween stuff up and very little of the outside stuff suffered badly for the winter. (which means not much more $ and we are up and running!) The weather has started to drift to fall, and there are two little dogs that are curled up beside me.

Monday, September 8, 2008

HALLOWEEN - The Gateway to the Holiday Season

We are buried under the boxes of skulls, various witches, and assorted eyeballs. Fat Cat is in his glory as it is the 'holiday of his people'. (I am not entirely sure what that means, but I have seen some of his people and a holiday where you wear masks may just be their favorite.) This marks the beginning of the season, and it does not end until 2009! He is so excited not even a minor convenient store incident could stall his good day ("It is the most F&^&^*&ing ridiculous thing, they mix up the diet pop with these stupid flavored pops, same color lid, same color label. What the F*&^&? They get you addicted to one then they keep sabotaging the choices so that you end up with some damn mango cola that tastes like crap and you have to stop somewhere else and get the right one. Why can't they just put three rows of the pop people like? Or make then different colors ?" He had picked me up a pop when he came to get me for lunch and he got a lemon one. Apparently a huge task.)

Oh, and for those serious readers, the cake for today is 'wedding cake', I carved little cakes made a 3 layer tower and covered it with fluffy white icing and decorated the whole thing with white sugar hearts Also silver sugar beads and crystallized sugar. It looked like a Barbie wedding cake! I out did myself. Then with all the hoopla over the getting out our Halloween gear and buying fruity pop I forgot to deliver them! What a goof!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Extra Crispy VS Original

Soldier went to the Ultimate Fighting Championships in Atlanta this weekend. Today at my mother in law’s birthday dinner, Fat Cat tells us all about it.

Fat Cat: Soldier went to the KFC fights last night.

I giggle and say, under my breath, ‘those are chicken fights, extra vs. crispy’

Number one: Those are brutal!

Mother in law: Those are chicken fights , they call them cock fights, that must be some new name for them

Fathr in law: They have cock fights there on base?

Fat Cat: No they went to Atlanta.

Number one: He went to a cock fight too?

Fat Cat: I did not know that, I thought he went to the KFC fights

Mother in law: That is what you said, isn’t it illegal?

Number One: No, they broadcast them on HBO

Fat Cat: They show cock fights on TV??

Number One: No, they show UFC fights.

Father in law: So who when to a cock fight.

Fat Cat: I do not know, but they sure should not have them on HBO, When is it on?

I just went into the kitchen and started on my cakes for the next week.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Coconut Cake - HUGE HIT

Little switch up today, with my ex sister in law having her birthday party today, so she gets the big old Coconut cake today! There was a fear the birthday party was not going to go well but it was really cute and my cake was a big hit. Her niece did a nice job and the other cake had a picture of the birthday girl when she was 20! Tomorrow mom in law gets her coconut cake (note, this cake has to marinade for 3 days before you can eat it, and i have to love someone to make it because i hate coconut due to an over-consumption of it as a child) when we have her birthday dinner. So little cup cakes about the size of a quarter, a 1/2 dozen of them, was her little bonus for today, while tomorrow those will show up on the door step of my ex sister in law. Very confusing I know!

I loved seeing this branch of my family tree, this part of my history. These sister in laws, their friends, they were the women I admired, and still love in the devoted way i did then. They were fun and exciting and full of life. They still are easy laughs. The type of laugh that travels back to my childhood and makes me warm and safe. I love her so much, so much, that I just want to bake her a cake everyday!

Friday, September 5, 2008

Halloween Has Started!

First, marble cake today, a one forth of a normal cake made to look like a little sheet cake. Very cute.

Then when with my paycheck in hand I ran to 3 discount stores to finally find the butler. I saw them about a week ago and did not have the money, but it was an amazing price and it is 6 foot tall, talks, head turns, eyes move, chest heaves and he is just as sinister as possible. We are going to start getting everything out this weekend, but the butler has already paid for itself. We had set it up but went to the grocery store only to come home and freak our selves out because there was someone in the house! We are just dorks.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Cake day 4

German chocolate.

Today has been frustrating, only one cake was delivered and calls from Soldier where he has locked himself in his room because 'Iraq is easier'. Tank and his little family were here, and Duke will stop humping Buster. But Fat Cat had dinner ready for me again tonight and it was wonderful.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

A Little Stressed

So I am 1/2 day at my new job and 1/2 day at the old job. How is it going you ask? While my trainer is going over some details I get 6 emails from my old boss about things I have not taken care of. There just isn't enough Valium to keep me stable.

But it is Cake Fest day 3

"Sometimes simple is just the best, but you have not tried all the rest."
Yellow cupcake decorated as if it were a full size! Rich chocolate icing.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Day 2

“A month of Cakes, all for you. This one is Carrot, healthy too!”

Miniature bundt shaped carrot cake, with decadent creme cheese icing. Garnished with 4 little carrots made of sugar.

Monday, September 1, 2008

What the Heck is the Matter with Me!

As you all know, I cannot do anything just ‘a little bit’, I am driven to make things over the top. So now I have added little rhymes to the cakes. I have to blame this one on Angel, who came up with the idea. This is letter one-


And then a big old number one. The first ones are delivered and well received! Big hit so far.

I have way too much time on my hands, I really do not need a 3 day weekend.

Cake Fest 2008 Begins - Strawberry 'Short' Cake

Day one begins with a moist yellow cake filled with fresh ready ripe strawberry slices and a thin layer of strawberry jam. Covered completely with a thick pure white whip cream icing and garnished a fanned fresh berry on top and a couple on the plate! Measurement - 5 inch by 2 inch!

What a Long Long Long Day

I have spent 99% of today being mad, and figure I am good for another 50% of tomorrow. I went to church (yes, I am still attending, and still singing - I used to be under the impression that those going to church were perfect and therefore I do not belong there, now I realize that you go because you are not perfect and it helps to make sense of things and give you strength - I know, I am getting it now) and I came in all puffed up with positive and get blasted by a negative spewing Fat Cat anger volcano. He is off on his ‘he is being taken advantage of’ binge again . I do not really want to get into the details, but lets just say - he is obviously wrong and I am torqued pretty good.
Trying to stay busy, so that I do not go into the kitchen and sharpen knives, I decide it best to just put all my laundry away (that is a huge task, I can get it washed, I can get it dried, I can even get it folded, but it stagnates in that position, never to go where it belongs). I also cleaned out a huge chest (where I found I had stuffed a huge picture of my father that had made me burst into tears during a raging hormonal episode- I forgot I had put it there and set it out now) then I cleaned out the linen cupboard and pitched a bunch of sheets that really had long out lived their usefulness (there are not even any double beds in my house and I had 6 sets of old sheets !!) . This took most of my day, dotted with calls Soldier (he had lost it last night and sat outside with a sword- he is not allowed to have guns for a time period after return from war- and kept watch until daylight) and from telemarketers who are my only true friends.
I also began Cake Fest 2008, for my mother in law (wait, that would be for Fat Cat’s Mother’s birthday, hmmm, I wonder if taking care of his mother’s birthday is part of taking advantage of him???) and for one of my ex sister in law’s (it is her 65th birthday and she has suffered with cancer this year, and , well, I just plain love her). I have the month planned out and have most of the actual cakes baked (I freeze the undecorated cakes, and then thaw and ice as needed) . These are mini cakes, a little bigger than cup cakes, or cup cake size, I have not gone completely mad. The first 4 days are done and ready to go, I think this will be fun and even Angel said this could be really great (or ‘you could crash and burn with this one’ she also said, but I am trying really hard not to pay attention to that part. )
I am going to crash for the night, take my poor little dog to bed and cuddle with him. He has a swollen anal gland and it is making his life miserable, and today I totally understand having a pain in that area. We both need a serious break.