Good bye, Hello!

Goodbye 2011
You have been the most stressful but magnificent of all years for me, I have learned so much.
I have finally realized how many great friends I have and how lucky I am they have not bailed on me and my chaos
I have learned that I have managed to raise amazing strong children despite my dragging them through all my drama and mayhem. They make better choices, and have allowed themselves to find people that love them and find their way to happiness. I sure did not lead by example.
I have learned that I am much stronger than I had realized previously, that I am capable of making major decisions and knowing that I can pull myself through life.
I have learned that life happens – and that if you do not find the silver lining in what you have been given, It is a miserable existence. That being positive in the face of it all, does work, and that if you can find a way to laugh about it, it will be laughable, and in the end, totally worth it. I have learned that no matter what I have been able to laugh at things, and find the humor – and that just may be my greatest assest. It is time again, to expand that – and make other laugh, hopefully with me and not at me!




Hello 2012
I pray for less stress, but with that stress often comes great growth, could be a slower growth though
I resolve to be a better friend, it is my weakness without a doubt, I need to let all of them know how much they are appreciated and how much I value them. Even though I cannot seem to get more than emails out, and a visit, well that would be way more than I can seem to get done! I am THAT friend. Hate that about myself. My friends have always been better to me than I am to them.
I resolve to tell my children how proud of them I am at every opportunity, they deserve to know that. So many of us go through our lives wondering what our parents think of us. I never really knew, I had to guess, but I want my children to know it. So they can move ahead with their lives with some form of confidence.
I have not had much faith in myself, in my own strength and my own decisions. Probably because I have not made very many good decisions, it had led to doubt. But I did make a lot of choices this year, and to my credit I am totally okay with them. Perhaps it is really time for me. I resolve to allow myself to do things for me but to stop obsessing with myself and all my drama
I resolve to bring back the blogs that have us laughing, to remember that no matter what crap you step in, that hoping around to clean it off your shoe is incredibly funny!

The Crazy Life

FYI, I now have a facebook, going that way while my crazy life is in full motion. will be back to blogging soon, i am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. It could be an oncoming train, but you never know

H&R Block

Tank has to have his tax forms for the last year for his interview.... in the morning! Grrr
Since I do his taxes and obviously am responsible for anything to do with them, he informs me i have to get them printed out right away. although that sounds like a task that could be completed by say, hitting the print key or somehting like that, but that just would be incredibly simple.
I grab my lap top and since it is acting all nuts, I decide that if i just print to a file it would be okay and then pull the file up on the desktop and print it. (again i am lulled into simpledom)
I seem to have some sort of glitch that is preventing me from going on the internet, where as it turns out is the file that i need to print to a PDF. so i save to a SBU or USB or BUS or what ever you call this tiny chip. and head off with my rose colored glasses to the desktop (note, it is in the loft where the temperature is akin to the sun's surface) and figure out how to put it in this computer and view the file. Well not actually view because i can see the icon, but i cannot read the file because the software is not on this computer.
But that should be easy enough to load on to it, once i find the disk (note, i had not put it back in the box, i had not put it in the file folder in the cabinet, i had for some reason left it in my lap top, that took about an hour)
Load it up, and go to open the file, but i still cannot because the state form is only on the hard drive and I have to call HR Block to get it again.
there is an 800 number and i cring, but what choice so i have, i am now in a battle with technogogy, my lost youth and my body's endurance of high temperatures.
Now the phone is answered by a gentleman (i am like a reverse psychic. you know how they always say 'the persons name begins with J or T' and you give them a name and they say 'that is it', well i heard his name , i know his name, but all i can tell you is it begins with an R. reverse psychic.) so R manages to help me out of my state of panic and gets me up and running. I will not go into details, but i know all about his life, and we were on the phone easily an hour, and he is my new best friend. If you ever have a problem with your software, ask for the guy with the R name, he is wonderful.
and I then print it out, 4 hours (not an exaggeration) later.
I get the feeling I may be in another clamity spiral.
I call Tank and tell him, he is not impressed, in fact, he asked me if I ate his oatmeal as he needs it for the morning. I told him to go to the store. Grrr

Concidence?

Now Fat Cat is stuck in southern Ohio where he was visiting soldier, broke down because he is out of gas. Now the gas gage has been broke and he told me "just use this gage here, it tells you how many gallons you use" - which was working fine until he realized that the thing was on liters and not gallons and then he changed it to the correct one for his nationality which then relieved him of the idea that his mini van was getting about 5 miles to the gallon and allowed him to push the envelope and see just how far he could go before he needed gas. Answer- 25.5 gallons worth of gas. Then you really need it...........brought to you!

What a day, i am leaving now for the middle of no where.

ALL SHOOK UP

And now an earthquake in Ohio. This day is getting more strange by the minute!

Just sitting in my stall and my screen started wiggling, and my hand sanitizer fell over and I thought. This is odd, perhaps something hit the building. and for about 30 seconds i considered panicking and running through the halls and out the door. But i calmed my self down and realized that if the earth was not opening up with lava spewing that no one would appreaciate my sense of urgency. most people did not even feel it. I guess i am just hypersensitive, in tune with nature

I (Sp)am her Friend

The tone for the day can be rather odd, when it starts out with your friend blasting you with porno emails at work.

This Explains A Lot

"You have to help me! I am nearly blind, I am deaf, and I am dumb. Not the dumb like you are mute, but the real dumb. so when I say I cannot find something, stop trying to make fun of me and just help me!"

Fat Cat when he could not find his keys today

To My Beloved Grandson

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T.J.
WHERE EVER YOU ARE

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND HOLD YOU IN MY HEART. YOUR MEMORY WILL NEVER FADE FOR ME.

10 Cakes

I have had a couple requests for the lists of cakes that were at the shower, so here they are, and yes I made them all.......



1. Red velvet - with pink tinted butter cream icing
2. Banana, with banana filling, and whipped cream icing flavored with my homemade vanilla
3. Tres Leches- "Three Milks" - a rich custard cake, with fresh whipped heavy cream, and topped with blueberries, red raspberries, and blackberries (this is like the new thing on the food network)
4. New York Cheese cake topped with cherries
5. Black Forrest, which had dark chocolate, cherry filling, and vanilla bean cream
6. Yellow butter cake, with chocolate butter cream frosting
7. Coconut, which is white cake and coconut frosting
8. Carrot bundt cake with cream cheese icing
9. German chocolate, which is the milk chocolate cake, filled and topped with a cooked Carmel pecan and coconut icing, wrapped in a thick milk chocolate gnash
10. a 4 layer bride cake, alternate with strawberry sour cream and french vanilla layers, filled with strawberry preserves and topped with a sweetened whip cream icing and of course the Barbie Doll

Showered with Love

Got to admit I may not have given my daughter the perfect life, I may not ever have been the perfect mother, but for one brief moment, i gave her the perfect shower. I could not have been more proud of my friends, my family and my children. if this is any preview of the wedding to come, I am so excited!

THANK YOU MY FRIENDS! YOU MADE IT ALL HAPPEN!

Left of Legal

So The Sasquatch is at the gas station last night on his way home from work, he pays for the gas, which is always unsettling, and pumps it, then glances inside the car and sees his keys and phone laying on the seat. About the same time as he realizes the doors are locked.

Hmmm

He cannot call Angel, because his phone is trapped in the car, resting beside his keys. He cannot use a payphone because they no longer exist. He goes back inside, he explains the situation, which although is embarrassing, is probably not the worst thing a gas station attendant has ever heard, and reluctantly , and possibly only because he is large and someone intimidating, they allow him to use their phone. He calls his dear girlfriend.

She is shopping at the mall, her phone rings, she glances at the caller ID, does not recognize the number and drops the call to voice mail.

He realizes she has just put him to voice mail, and tries to leave a message that expresses the urgency, but since he is standing in a crowded gas station, does not involve screaming and cursing.

She continues to shop.

He also realizes he cannot call anyone else because he does not have any other numbers in his head, only in the phone memory, which again is in the locked car.

She gets this felling that since that odd number left a message, that maybe she should listen.

Panic ensues.

She calls Fat Cat –who snags a wire hanger (thank god we still use them, “No more wire hangers” is not something we have ever said) from the closet, grabs the wire cutters from the kitchen table (where I was using them to make flower arrangements- another story). And bolts out the door to his white horse to save the day (okay not a white horse, but a bashed up 2004 minivan, that could be mistaken for a salvage vehicle)

Sasquatch is still awaiting – no clue if Angel got the message, no clue who else to call because no one else would be home nor close.

Angel is racing home to get the other set of keys, because she has no faith that a coat hanger can open a car door.

Fat Cat arrives, hops out, wiggles in the coat hanger, and pops open the door.

Sometimes it makes me a little nervous that his talents are slightly left usable in the law abiding world, but none the less, he did manage to be very efficient.

Then they took us out for chicken. Perfect!

NO TALENT ASS CLOWN

How do you know when you are overwhelmed and should just go home? When you are getting ready for lunch to start, and decide to go to the restroom, and notice that you have two DIFFERENT socks on, (not only in color but in the pattern) and they show because you are wearing flats. That is how. GRRR





Also Angel has a series of buttons that she wears for work (I believe they actually call them ‘flare’) and she has them from all over and gets them from all over, and sometimes she just gets a bag of them, and has to go through them because some are not ‘family friendly’ – so she has one that says ‘NO TALENT ASS CLOWN’

Okay I have no clue what that means, but it is just hysterical and I cannot stop saying it (in my head, because I can’t really say it out loud at work ) and then just loosing it (out loud)

So after the mismatched socks and the bursts of laughter so violent that pop just erupts from my nose, I think my co workers believe me to be insane. Or maybe I am just a ‘no talent ass clown’

Little Lonely

Have to admit it, I am a little lonely - miss my baby girl.

Empty Room

Angel has moved, her own home, now it is just Tank

It's On!

The 'save the dates' are in the mail, all the bridesmaids have made bail, So off we went in search of the Holy Grail. To southern Ohio a shop we know Where every prom we used to go when we did not have much money to blow And I promised her I would not shed one tear but she is my darling my dear my emotions overflowng was my fear I bit my tongue and my lip But let me give you a solid tip so that you do not let your feeling slip Hold your pride in very tight and then late at night when you know longer have to fight To your blog you can cry because she is your baby and no matter how hard you try You do not want to give her to that guy (we have the dress, i did not cry, i am now, that is no lie)

Water Water Everywhere!

Yep the 55 gallon Fish Tank has sprung a leak. sort of like the ocean on the isle of Japan. We have managed to save the fish, with a brand new tank. I hate Fate!

Tank's Voice Mail

"Damn it"

"Hello? Hello?"

"Fat cat, what are you doing?"

"It beeped when i was leaving the message, he was trying to call me, and now i lost them both I thnk! Hello hello??"

"did you hit the flash button?"

"What the hell is a flash button? No I hit the green button, to get the call but he was not there.......wait a minute --- I think the beep was the voice mail beep........ damn it."

Japan Nuclear Meldown

Is it really called "Fuck You shima"? Really? I would not have wanted to live near that even when it was intact.

It is Getting Closer!

Angel and two of the bridesmaids are trying on dresses today! it will not be long before i am crying (over all the money spent) and missing her (because she is the only one that can set the DVR for me).

Sheenisms

How much cocaine did charlie sheen do?



enough to kill two and half men!!!!!!!!!

Craig List Find

Big Old fish tank, up and running, and Fat Cat is in heaven. So happy he can't do dishes because he is too busy staring at it!

Crissteen

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
ISN'T GREAT TO BE 32!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

LOVE YA!

9 More Inches

I hate weather you can shovel
I hate defrosting my windows
I hate not smoking
I hate healthy food
I hate that tomorrow is my mothers birthday and I miss her all over again
I do not need more snow
Come on Spring, pluck me out of this depression

To My Children

Have a happy valentines day!!! Remember that I love you forever, no one will ever love you like I do, and without exception every moment you have been in my life has been a blessing. To relax- I close my eyes and see your faces, to feel happy I listen for your laughter , and to be at peace, I remember first holding you in my arms.

My control freak is showing, sorry

Yesterday was Fat Cat’s birthday. We had planned to have dinner on Sunday, with all the kids, but his mother decided we should all go out to dinner, and she decided that his brother would pay. Nice. I hate to sound ungrateful, but I think that it is a lot to continually ask someone else to pay and to organize something when I already have plans set up. Ugh. My control freak is showing, sorry I need to adjust it. But let me tell you that some days I spend hours dealing with rather dim-witted-slow-thinking-island-dwelling-Englishmen, and my frustration often carries over to my home life. Yesterday I told my husband, ‘call the license bureau and find out when they are open so that I can get your plates and your drivers license when I get off work” so he called and said 6:00. So I go home, beep for him, he comes out and we drive to the license bureau and they are closed. Ugh. Rather than just make the call, he guessed. Instead of paying the bills I should just ‘guess’ how much I owe, I am sure that will work out famously.

So we go home and I am then informed about the dinner plans, which torques me a good one, and after I watch TV whilst Fat Cat proclaims how terrible it is to be old and how terribly unhappy he is. (note, angel put some coffee creamers, those fancy flavor ones, in the fridge with a bow, so he has already had a gift, and he got calls from his other 2 daughters) after about 16 phone calls between him and his mother, and one session of vomiting by him, after one of the calls, he decides it is time to leave and we go out the door and I step on of the railroad ties that was covered by about a foot of snow and as I found out momentarily, about another foot of solid ice. I hit the snow with my foot, the ice with my well padded behind, and the railroad tie with my spine. There was rolling about some screaming and crying, (mainly by Fat cat because I am screwing up his birthday dinner) and some by me once I regained my breath and realized I was not completely paralyzed. Ugh.






We are of course the last ones to arrive, which we knew because everyone had called us all the way there, to see where we were at. God bless the cell phone. It is a shame no one can use it to help me just see why I am holding them up, excuse me , I have to crawl my 50+ year old ass out of the snow pile before I answer it thank you. Ugh.

Did I mention that my brother in law just got back from the cruise? Had to hear about that all during dinner – I may just throw up myself.

The Car, The Man

I have yet another theory--

I think cars really do represent the men that choose them, this does not work for women, who see cars as big purses usually, but for men, it is the window to their souls.

For example-- my husband drives a mini van, despite the fact that are children are grown with kids of their own, he does not care, he wants people to see he is a man with a family, a man that has to drive his family around, the caretaker, the father, the husband, that is what he is- despite his best effort to be the 'cool' guy.

my son, drives a jeep with one billion miles. He will not give up on it, he made the decision to buy it, he loves it - he will not abandon it, it is rugged and dependable, as he is, and he babies it - no matter the faults it is his and he loves it. He is that way about his things, he loves them forever, when he finally settles down, he will never give up on his marriage- no matter what -no matter how frustrated and angry, he is loyal to the end. He is this way with me, no matter what drama I have drug him through, no matter how my behavior has often caused him pain, his love for me never wavers.

my future son in law, now he has two vehicles, because he has two sides, in reality he is shy and reserved on the surface but a big man, and solid and strong, but underneath and once you know him, his is smart and hilarious with a sly smile that leads me to see a glimpse of a mischievous playful heart.. His vehicles are that - first the big SUV, it is big and strong and can handle anything, with the accessories to help others, it is him, and i feel as safe in that beast as I am with my daughter in his arms. Then there is his toy, his show car, his fun side, showy, shiny and full of pep and loud and eye catching. He cherishes it, as he will his family, his destiny is to be proud of his shiny stunning family. I cannot wait to see what he will do for them!

Then there is my oldest son, who trades vehicles and styles of vehicles so frequently that it shows he cannot settle down, he does not know what he wants, he does not know who he is.

While soldier, he has allowed his wife to choose for him, and that my friends is truly the complete reflection of him.

Snorting His Drug

Hey you got boogs- I told him, as is my job, being that I am about a foot shorter than him and have full view of his nasal cavity and after all these years, there is no need for manners.

Damn it- he marches to the mirror, then he started chuckling

You busted me, when i was at the gas station i got a big old donut - I thought i had wiped it off by now

No - and now that i get a good look at you, you missed that big gob of jelly on your shirt too

Dinner is ready

Sweet, I am starved

New Restaurant

Fat Cat: "I'm going to open a new restaurant, calling it Beaks and Feet, a chicken place."

Wedding Plans Begin

I have made the list, going to check it twice!



The date for the shower is set, The Date for the Wedding is set!

Tank - My Favorite (at least for this week!)

If anyone offers to treat you to a Spa massage (not the Happy Ending kind you freaks) - do it! Amazing I tell you and so relaxing I could just melt into a pile of gue. I will be going back. Thank you Tank, it was awesome. Had a manicure and a pedicure also, with a facial, i cannot belive I am 50 something and never did this before, it was great!

New Year Poo

My husband is somehow incapable of planning anything any more, and I get stubborn and refuse to do it, and there is a lot of “what do you want to do?” “ I don’t care, what do you want to do?” “ I don’t know, what do you want to do….” This usually goes on for about 20 minutes until I stop it by beating him to death with a bat (in my imagination of course, not reality) and by bat I actually like to picture a rabid screaming vampire bat vs. the traditional weapon of a baseball bat, which seems oddly to boring for my imagination to settle on.

I choose this time to just take the screaming frothing bat out of the picture and plan something myself. Since we were robbed of our usual excursion to see grandkids in Missouri for New Years, I thought maybe a nice road trip in the shocking 50 degree temp would be fun and relaxing. So we drove to a few places that we used to go when we were younger, we drove to Lake Erie to small parks and summer places like Geneva on the Lake and wandered on the shore with our memories and stories, and held hands while the seagulls bobbed on ice chunks. We stopped for dinner at a marvelous little Italian restaurant where the chef was the owner and the food was just impeccable. It was like a New York City restaurant plopped in the middle of a nearly vacant winter coastline, but there were a few of us there, shocked at the spectacular tastes and aromas. It was just a late lunch but we stuffed ourselves like walruses and waddled out to the van.

We drove along the Lake to Conneaut Lake Park in PA, where we took the kids when they were little. A closed tiny amusement park that is stuck in the 1920’s with ancient rides and a rollercoaster whose age was much more frightening than the ride. It was so cute and we walked around it remembering the trips and the fun. The hotel is still there, also from the 20’s and we wondered inside to the lobby which may just have been a time machine itself, slipping us back to a time of Victorian opulence and beaded lampshades. I of course, was immediately in love and wanted to stay there forever, whilst my husband could only see the building bursting into flames or (as he kept pointing out later) the fact that the place was obviously build long before indoor plumbing was all the rage and there may be one toilet per floor. He was convinced upon arrival that there would be a basin and pitcher of water in each room. They offered a New Years special of dinner, midnight buffet of appetizers, open bar, band, dancing, room, and breakfast for $175 a couple. A fabulous deal (“I am not sharing a bathroom with New Years drunks with little to no aim” he kept whispering) I get it, but it had this dinning room that overlapped the lake with huge glass windows and ducks on the water (“one wayward spark and this place will go up like a barn full of dry straw” he kept whispering.) I get it, but it was amazingly cute and I almost forced the issue, but he was really right, and it was really old and I like my modern plumbing and cable and so we left.

We drive a ways, the GPS letting us drift about the back roads and state routes, with no time restraints, but it was now dark and we needed a hotel before the roads were filled with amateur alcoholics. So the GPS gave us some options and I called them, found one with rooms and not freakishly expensive. And with a bar/restaurant available for New Years. We get there, they were nice, clean, friendly and we get our key and go up to the room. It was a little on the small side, but okay. No remote we realized and called the front desk, he says he will bring one up, nice. So I have to go to the potty first, and flip on the light……..

To find poo on the seat, the back of the toilet and splattered about the tub. OMG. About vomited, started screaming, and running about putting my coat on, announcing how I was getting outta here and they could just give me my money back, because this is nasty and disgusting, and I ain’t having it. The non-suspecting front desk guy shows up during this, with my remote, and I drag him to see it, and he does not want to see it, but I insist that he sees it. And show him not only was it poo, but explosive poo and horrid and he freaked and I was freaking and my husband was out the door with the suitcase. Fortunately he did give us a really nice upgrade for free, and it was hugely gorgeous and spacious and well worth the freak out! Very special room, a suite. It was so nice we just got food and stayed in it all evening, relaxing in the space.

So it ended up okay, although we had drama.

I guess sometimes you have to witness poo to get to the sweeter part of life!!!