It is my home, my neighborhood, and my history. It is what I am and where I came from. Embarrassing? Yes Boring? Never

Sunday, August 10, 2008

How Well Do You Know the Barrell?

Another installation of the Kracker Barrell trivia game:
1. My soldier son and family are due to arrive. They call on Friday and say they will not be arriving until Monday. Giving me the weekend to get the house finished and grocery shop for the week. But the plans suddenly change when they call at 10 PM.
A) They say they are on the way and want to surprise Dad. They will be there in less than an hour!
B) since no one is home, Fat Cat is walking around in his underwear and I cannot think of a reasonable excuse for him to put pants on - surprised are the guests!
C) The dogs start barking and Fat Cat says they “act like someone is here” gets up and start screaming ”there are people in our house.!”
D) I could not stop hugging my soldier even though I was still my cleaning clothes and I had no food to offer them!
E) All of the above.

2. I made no plans, because Soldier did not want to do anything at all while he was home. I told him to rest and feel free to invite who ever to our home as if it was his.
A) With his sister’s and their boyfriends coming over on Saturday, and Grandma and Uncle also stopping by, Soldier decides to invite some close friends - about 30 of them
B) I run to the store and get enough supplies in to feed literally a bunch of soldiers, while Fat Cat gets enough booze for all the military forces.
C) Fat Cat informs me that the sisters and the boyfriends are going to stay all night so that they do not have to drive home and can ‘party’
D) Soldier informs me that his buddies will probably crash at my house because they are coming long distances and will not want to drive home after the ‘party’
E) All of the above

3. Unusual guests are not uncommon but this was a different sort of night
A) Tank, who is plagued with a nasty 24 hour flu bug, introduces his girlfriend to the family, she is expecting, although not his, a child due next month
B) Bo Peep brings her boyfriend who recently failed a drug test and lost the job Fat Cat and Uncle worked so hard to get for him, at a major auto plant
C) Soldier’s cousins from the dark back woods of southern Ohio, who are the nieces and nephews of Fat Cat first wife, arrive (Note - this will highly irate wife one, so Fat Cat is extremely thrilled.)
D) Butterfly brings her new boyfriend who is middle eastern, to the party where there are 3 soldiers including her brother, just back from Iraq
E) all of the above

4. Often at a party where large amounts of alcohol are consumed, things end up going haywire
A) Someone fell into the brand new double lounge chair - causing a leg to bend
B) Same someone as above ran about in his underwear screaming “it is not a real party unless there is a naked fat guy” (Note- honest this was not Fat Cat!)
C) One of Soldier’s cousin’s gets drunk and proceeds to hit on Butterfly (Note- freaking out Soldier because this is his sister and his cousin, and is some how just plain wrong.
D) Someone, no one has claimed responsibility, took my 3 foot Tiki Statue and actually decapitated it.
E) all of the above

5. Beyond just haywire, there can be just too much drama
A) The mini fridge I had bought for uncle and my blender were taken outside and my bar/patio was turned into what seems to be an after-hours establishment.
B) Both Butterfly and Bo Peep ended up being thrown into the pool - fortunately they were fully clothed
C) Soldier got really drunk and told our middle eastern guest he probably killed his relatives (note, the guest remained speechless, which was probably a good move)
D) Angel was asked if she had ‘hid her pot.’ (note - it was a large vase she made in pottery class that rested on a table on the patio before she rescued it from the naked fat guy)
E) All of the above

6. After the party is often the most interesting
A) I had to locate tweezers for a young man that had somehow fallen into my very large live cactus, and was in lots of pain
B) Butterfly and the middle eastern man had left during the night because he was upset that his girlfriend was getting hit on by what he think is her cousin also
C) We went through two pork loins, three whole chickens, homburgs and hot dogs, and everyone was praising Fat Cat for the fine food he cooked (Thank you, he just stood at the grill and flipped it!)
D) A bottle of Tiki Torch fuel was found behind the bar, I have no clue who did those shots!!
E) All of the above

7. But all in all it ends up okay!
A) Everyone finally left and Soldier and I cleaned up. He was full of happiness that he had all of his buddies here.
B) I got to spend an entire night cuddled up with the two cutest babies in the world
C) Tank finally got over the flu
D) The head of the Tiki was glued back on.
E) All of the above

So the first full day of my vacation was really quite exciting! If you answered E to all - then you do really know me!

1 comment:

phx said...

oh. my. GOD. Not only are you the Immortal Woman... you are the Incredible Woman... and the most Awesomest Mama!

This was a very entertaining read. Thanks!! :D