It is my home, my neighborhood, and my history. It is what I am and where I came from. Embarrassing? Yes Boring? Never

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I Just Did Not See It Coming

Here is how to tell you are going to have a crap day;
1) the dogs wake you up by barking – at the exact time you should be LEAVING for work, not getting up!
2) You use a blood curdling scream to tell your husband to wake up – let the dogs out and feed the animals because you do not have time
3) You do not have time to shower, and opt for strong perfume and brushed teeth
4) You fly down the stairs only to have your husband (now sleeping in his chair) yell at you to make the dogs stop barking (note, they are still outside, and at barely 5 pounds each they are probably freezing to death)
5) You race out the door to find your car covered in ice and only have time to scrap peep holes in the ice
6) zooming through an intersection, you realize – after hearing the horns and tires screeching – the light was probably red.
7) The first thing on your email at work is NOT the tracking information for a shipment that had to go yesterday- it did not go
8) You actually have to hang up on one of your best friends, because her big problem of the day is which country club her and her millionaire brother are going to use for their mother’s 75th birthday extravaganza
9) In the rest room you realize you forgot to grab enough feminine protection to get you through your 12 hour work day, and you now have to call the husband and have him bring some to you at lunch because you will not be able to do both the store and the drive thru in your ½ hour.
10) When he picks you up for lunch, you actually have to go get a lunch because there was no time to pack one, which ends up costing you $20 because your husband has no gas.
11) You try to resolve the shipping problems with an email authorizing over night shipment, which you spell Over Knight – hilarity has ensued in the shipping department and you get calls like, ‘Is this Gwenevier? Lancelot has not left the building. Is that the dark knight? ‘ etc. (funny, they normally do not have a sense of humor)
12) When you get to your second job, you absolutely cannot wait another minute and rush to the restroom, choosing of course, the only stall in 10 that has no TP

But things turn around when your mother-in-law tells the people you are now working with, that she has spent her life with two sons, and then she finally got the daughter she always wanted.

No comments: