It is my home, my neighborhood, and my history. It is what I am and where I came from. Embarrassing? Yes Boring? Never

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Someone is Spinning out of Control

Fat Cat is spinning out of control, Soldier and his family will be here in 2 weeks! He has created so many projects for himself he is completely overwhelmed and paralyzed. He has pretty much freaked the %$^&# out and in doing so, took his meds twice yesterday.

Fat Cat: You people have got to start answering the phone!!! I missed ^%%%^&**$ four phone calls from Soldier yesterday! I finally get some sleep and you people let the whole $%^%^& house fall apart!

Angel (to herself) Ok, Rip Van Winkle, life is a little confusing when you go to bed on Tuesday and you wake up on Thursday.

Fat Cat: I have not had a good nights rest in 2 years while he has been at war. And he tries to talk to me and no one will answer the $%%^&% phone when it rings.

Angel (to herself) Unlikely that soldier called 4 times, although just coming from a war zone for a year and half, I am sure he has nothing to do but call people repeatedly during the day.

Fat Cat: And the hot tub guy left messages and I can’t get those either!

Angel (to herself) His number is not on the caller ID from yesterday, the day you slept most of , maybe it is on your voice mail, oh wait, you cannot access your voice mail because no one can remember the password.

Fat Cat: I need to call the hot tub guy today, and Soldier. I have to call HIM back. I do not know why you people will not help me. You have not answered the phone in 4 years. My son is just back from the war and trying to get in touch with me, and I ….

Angel: (aloud) here is the phone, it is ringing.

Fat Cat: I do not even know the hot tub guy, it is Tanks friend you know him, you should be the one calling him…

Phone: (a woman’s voice) Hello

FC: Can I speak with Dave please?

Phone: Who?

FC: Dave, the hot tub guy. He left me a message yesterday.

Phone: You want Dave???

FC: Yeah, is he there? Can I talk to him?

FC: (to himself) Dave has a real winner of a wife there, my God!

Phone: (a man’s voice) Hello?

FC: Dave?

Phone: No

FC: Aren’t you the guy who fixes hot tubs?

Phone: No

FC: Sorry, I must have the wrong number, Dude, I am looking for Dave

Phone: Dad, it’s me, Soldier. Your son, the one in Army.

FC: Oh, did not recognize the voice there, I was looking for the hot tub repair guy

Phone: I could maybe help you out if you had some terrorist attacking, but hot tubs... not so much.

FC: I’m so sorry, Angel dialed the wrong number, she doesn’t listen sometimes, and damn, I just did not recognize your voice

Angel (to herself): Umm, I think you asked for Soldier’s number, not Dave’s.

Phone: And you did not recognize my mother’s voice either.

FC: F*&^*&^, was that your mother? Nope did not get that one either.

FC: (to himself in regards to the ex-wife, abandoner of children) I hate that c*&^#$%^&!

Angel: (in text to Tank) do you have Dave, the hot tub guy’s, number?

Tank (in text back) yeah, but I think it is on the message he left yesterday.

Angel: (text) think-----think----think-----

Tank (text) oh, they can’t get those messages, can they?

Angel: (text) and there you go

Tank: I’ll get it.

FC: Angel, good job, I was starting to loose it and you knew talking to Soldier would calm me down, you were right, talking to the Hot tub guy when I am all upset would not have been good. Could have done with that ^&&^&^(*$%%^& ex-wife moment, but got a laugh out of Soldier. We better get started on some stuff around here, not much time before they are coming up for visit. If I could remember this password, I am going to call this #$%$%^& guy and set him over here ……

Angel: I’m going to the mall.

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