Flaming Bastard

So I am on the phone with one of my girlfriends and I smell some thing like lighter fluid. I look out side and see Fat Cat squirting lighter fluid all over the charcoal in the middle of a very windy day in preparation for dinner and the giant pork roast I bought.

I am chatting away when I hear WHOOSH followed by a high pitched girlish scream.

I look out the window just in time to see my husband (and i mean that in the nicest way) who at one time had six pack abs and bulging biceps, now trying to put out the chest hair ablaze on his arm and man boobs (and I mean that in the nicest way). Still with the cigarette in his mouth - probably what stopped him from 'stop drop and roll' as he should be doing.

"Oh my God, do you want me to let you go? " my friend said.

"Fat Cat, did you get your self put out? (and I mean that in the nicest way)"

"I'm good."

"Ok, he got himself out this time, so we are okay. That roast better not taste like hair."