Where Are My Keys?????

Coach's most favorite thing is shopping and spending my son's money on stuff - any stuff. We were supposed to use her big SUV for Black Friday, but she could not find the keys. There was over reacting of course, screaming at my Soldier, waking up Tank, and possibly the dead with the sobbing. She could not find her keys, she could not find them anywhere. We spent an hour at 4:30 in the morning trying to find them. She would not just let me drive because she has this fear that if they are truly lost, she is going to have to spend $$$ to get them remade (there is only one set, WTF?). She calls Angel who is out with Sashquatch pleasantly shopping, to scream at her for help (I was apparently not very helpful, because I figured they were here somewhere, just under some of the clutter, but I am not in a panic so I suck) And my mother in law, who also lives for the mall, is calling the house (the phone is now waking up anyone still sleeping, except for FAT CAT who has his hearing aids out) every five minutes wanting to know what we are doing and giving us suggestions on where to look. (I know some where in there she is really saying, 'if the house was not such a mess, you could find them' but I try not to hear it) She is one step away from throwing herself onto the floor and giving up on life entirely because she is going to miss all the sales. I begin moving the cars all around in the drive way so I can get my car out and just go shopping, because I do not want to miss the sales I want. And it is freaking cold, and I am getting steamed over this whole idea and my day is on the verge of ruin, and it is not even six a.m. Coach is now destroying my house, by taking all their stuff and dumping it everywhere and the dogs are going crazy with me going in and out and Coach crying. (Fat Cat is still sleeping) When her cell begins ringing, and it is Angel who is now screaming because she has the keys, in her purse, mistaken for her own, and there is a huge sigh of relief, and all is now right in the world. My mother in law is on her way down to pick us up - because she has a four door and we need to be able to bail out of the car quickly now, because the sun is starting to come up and all the really good deals will be gone with the darkness. Black Friday was a huge success, with the economy fully boosted with all my purchases. I did not ask what my country can do for me, I am only interested in helping my country and its retailers.

Next post - Evening with the Mayor