It is my home, my neighborhood, and my history. It is what I am and where I came from. Embarrassing? Yes Boring? Never

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

What do I know?

Soldier and crew were due in Ohio 3/15. Could not pin them down to the day and time they would be at our house. Three weeks they are on vacation (yes, i told them it was ridiculous to take their son our of school for 3 weeks and take all his vacation at one time--- in March--- in Ohio--- But what do I know) They could not get out of the house until 3/18 (the baby was not feeling well, and conveniently that gave them time to actually pack, despite my prodding to get it done the weekend prior, but what do I know?). Then they left just in time to hit 5:00 traffic in St Louis. (I know, it seems odd that they would drive themselves into it, but again, what do I know?) Then they end up driving only another hour and stay in a hotel. They make it another few hours on 3/19, and land with Soldiers friends still 3 hours away from me. But near his real mother, who does not have time to spend with them ( yet again, as is always the story, which i tried to brace him for, so he would not turn into that little 8 year old waiting for her to love him, but what do i know) They stay there until yesterday, then moved on to his wife's family, where fighting has already started and Soldier is ready to go back to Iraq rather than deal with these people (how can they expect to have peace when Grandpa - 80, a smoker on oxygen, mother in law, legally crazy smoker, sister, possible meth head and smoker, 2 children one a month old- second hand smokers, baby daddy , works part time, smoker, baby daddy son by previous baby momma who is in jail - how can this not be fun - what do I know)

I think I am reaching the point in life where I am freakishly wise and omnipotent. Maybe i am clairvoyant or just a genius, but I predict they will show up her early next week at the latest, broke (because the income tax check just is not going to make it much further) and broken (in spirit because the fantasy homecoming is just not what they thought it would be). And I will wait it out, while Fat Cat frets and bitches, for the call and the tears, and the safe landing. This is what I know.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Stupid Stupid Jesse James

My husband has a huge man crush on Jesse James, and when he married Sandra Bullock, well, he became a near God in the eyes of Fat Cat. But now - even he has lost respect for this man he so admired.

"What the hell, he threw perfection away for a whore. I don't want to be him any more."

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Knew It Was Bad

Friday was just cursed. All I wanted was a stupid vending machine pastry, but no, i cannot retain the numbers in my head long enough to punch them in correctly. What did i end up with? Not a cherry turnover as I so desired, but some salami tube that i brought home and fed the dogs. Which by the way gave them horrid gas and poop.

UGH

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Haunting

He is haunting me lately. Whispering to me while I sleep, waking me - then gone with a breath. Arriving in my dreams with laughter one moment - then in the next he appears as he did at the end. I want to sleep to hear his voice again. I miss him, my father. It has been forever but in my dreams he is there looking at me with all the love a father could have. In my dreams I run and jump into his arms, but also I hold him in mine as he grows cold and lifeless - again and again, over and over. The joy the haunting brings, is often crushed when I relive loosing him, worth it though, every single little second.