Thank you!!!!

I would like to send some Thank You’s to people who really deserve it for the lovely weekend they have supplied:
1. I would love to thank Fat Cat for the never ending complaining and pouting about how he is old and hurts everywhere and no one cares about him and his problems. Thank you , it means so much that you acknowledge how much I do for your children and how I worked two jobs so your children could have the Christmas of their dreams. It means so much to me that you acknowledge my efforts to bring joy into the lives of others, and I so enjoy your pain and suffering as you sit in your chair for days on end in your retirement.
2. Thank you Tank, for taking out your frustration with your love life, your father, and your career on me by screaming at me several times over the phone in an attempt to some how make me responsible for all of it. I do not know what brought this barage of profanity on, but I so enjoyed it.
3. Thank you Sony, for creating some sort of melt down in the Play Station 3 that has given Tank yet another reason to feel miserable and unlucky and another step closer to complete meltdown.
4. Thank you, stupid ass pick up truck driver that slid into Fat Cat while we were crossing the parking lot, because the already raging Fat Cat really needed yet another reason to lose it completely and start spewing cuss words about the parking lot. And especially thank you for also screaming back so that ‘it was on’ and there were F bombs dropping and finger waving and Fat Cat complete with glasses and hearing aids was announcing that he was going to ‘kick his f&^&% ing ass’ once we all got into the store. Thank you. I love to flee from the impending police arrival at the grocery store I go to every week.
5. Thank you , dealership service man for telling us the reason we do not have heat in the van (note it was 11 degrees inside the van, and we have no defrosters either) is because of some thingy ma bob, that can be replaced and we will be out of there within one hour for around a hundred dollars. Thank you for telling us all that, while you actually hold up captive for 3 hours and want to charge me $600. And a big quadruple thank you for saying it with a smile so that Fat Cat looses it and announces he is going to ‘kick your ^%&^^ing ass’ right in the middle of the show room. Yes, it was great that you only charged us $85 for not fixing the vehicle. I should have charged you a fee for prying Fat Cat’s hands from your little scrawny neck.
6. Thank you wood burner cement mantle for jumping in Fat Cat’s way while he was stumbling to the bathroom after the better portion of a bottle of rum was consumed. Because I love that my husband now has no big toe nail and no toe nail on his next to the big toe toe. Thank you for giving him this lovely bloody stump look that almost looks like red painted toe nails, leaving Fat Cat to announce in the middle of night in a quite house that he is going to ’kick you f&^%&^%ing ass’ you stupid wood burner. Now he is not able to wear shoes and of course is brandishing the liberated toenails as evidence of your viciousness. Yes, Thank you.
7. Thank you spirit world for making a 'has not worked for 10 years' watch worn by a meth head suddenly start working right in the middle of the funeral service, because that announcement has now freaked out my grandchildren so bad they are having nightmares. I do not know why this has happened, but it is just great I tell you.
8. Thank you everyone for giving me one of the best weekends on record. You have officially kicked my f^&%&^ing ass.

I Cannot Sleep

Okay I am taking my tree down and dwelling. Because that is what I do best. (not ‘taking trees down’ obviously since Xmas was forever ago) I am also folding laundry and helping my daughter try to salvage a cake mix that now has one cup too much oil. I am a queen at multi-tasking.
The current object of my dwell, is the fact that my ex-husband is about to hurt my kids again. I know they are grown, I know they are adults and can make their own decisions, but when it comes to him they are six years old again. Not so much my son, he seems to be completely ignoring this situation, much to the disgust of his sister. And Zowie. Probably (note, the cupcakes seem to be okay, we added some flour, sugar, and coco powder, they are more muffin-like, but salvaged none the less) is the one that will be the most wanting things to go well. She is always under the illusion that her father is suddenly going to be a dad. I have watched her forever get damaged again and again. I swore that was not going to be my kids, but it is - to somewhat less a degree, but painful nonetheless. And now their cousin has died and they will all be together. I have one billion ornaments. My God. I am wrapping each up in a plastic grocery bag, like two or three at time. I pulled some off that Eric had given me over the years. Eric’funeral is Saturday. This young man deserves the rest. His life was chopped up spit out and stomped on by his alcoholic mother, the driver of a car that did not see the boy on the big wheel, a controlling grandmother, and no one else that gave a crap. He never drove, never had a girl friend, nor a chance. And even now, as he is finally in heaven where he can find peace and rest and a day without a violent seizure, he is being over shadowed by the very people that should have cared for him. So the tree is still up, but I have almost all the ornaments off of it. It looks like Christmas still, all the snow and cold. I love all my ornaments all the memories, all the special moments. I even have some from my first marriage, ones that were mine, and meant something to me. More laundry, god, this is painful. Never ends. None of it. Everyone just wants to be loved and respected but the people we want to have love us, sometimes are not capable. That is the most painful part. Almost as painful as watching my Angel hurt ... again.

Fighting my way through the day

Very bizarre last few hours:
Lots of snow and ice, but made it home from work without incident which was amazing since I am a MaGoo behind the wheel. Stopped and got gas and chips and dip on the way home, ready to stay in for the night. Then Fat Cat has some sort of freak out and has to leave when I get home. I am parked behind him and instead of him moving my car to the other drive way he tries to squeeze it beside the van and buries it in a ditch. WTF? My neighbors, than k God, were quick to come and help me, swooped in like snow ninjas and whished off into the night!
Colder and more snow this morning. Ran out with dogs on my heels to start my car and chip a layer of Ice off the windows. (my rear window defroster does not seem to be able to keep up!) All the sudden I see a thick angry dog standing in the road. Like a hound from hell it just stood defiant. Of course my little princes, have no clue from hounds of hell, they start barking and prancing and all I can do is scream and try to get them back into the safety of the house. Just quickly enough . I stand in the house looking out at the hound, which is now between me and the car and my way to work. And my keys - laying in the snow from the flaying about. F&*^*^ it. I open the door grab the snow shovel and whip it around like a samurai warrior. This hound could be rapid. I am not taking any chances. I send that thing running without having to bash it’s poor little rabies infested brains in. Ok, maybe it was not that vicious but it was seven in the morning!!! WTF?
So I am now running late and get to my desk just as I realize I do not have my shoes. I am stuck with my old lady Totes, which are fur lined and already making my feet sweat and I do not even have my coat off. I cannot take them off because nature is not my friend - I could really cause a mass panic that cyanide is sneaking in the office. I have fat cat bring my shoes at lunch, but I forgot to tell him I needed socks, and of course he would not think of that on his own. WTF?
I need a vacation.

Some Tough Kracker

I have told you there are some tough MFer's in my neighbor hood. But I think we have the winner. A crazy som-bitch blasted his wife to death with a shotgun (open season on wife's that attempt to divorce their husbands is obviously still going strong), then he held his four year old hostage while the SWAT team arrives. After hours of negotiations they broke in and blasted the 6'4" giant of a man (another possible Sashquatch) with less than lethal bean bags,known to knock a grown man back about 5 feet. Nothing. Not even a phase. The sniper was told to shoot. He gun jammed. One of the officers shoot a 9mm at his head, hitting him mid-forehead almost between the eyes. IT BOUNCES OFF! After a surge of cops and wresting the buy yells 'was that all you got you pussies! " Great. These are MY people. I do not know what type of cromagnon this guy was, but OMG. Tank has been talking to the cops, his friends, and it is as it sounds, bizarre. Krackers are thick headed, literally!